reflections on 43…

as i sit here and reflect on the last day of the 43rd year of my life, i do so with so much fullness in my heart that it can’t help but flow out through my fingers, my smile, and even the tear ducts.

a few years back, i made some changes in how i live and view my life. no longer content to give control of my outlook to anyone or anything else, i vowed to remain positive and focus only on the good things in my world. the result has been nothing short of magnanimous.

i can tell you that despite current struggles and worries here and there, i have never known, never felt, never dreamed of such happiness. to have had the majority of my dearest friends all together with me this past weekend was one of the happiest times i can remember recently. to experience such a strong connection to blood brothers and sisters is the fulfillment of a lifelong wish. to watch four boys become men and find their way, loving all the while, gives me such pride. and–having closed off my heart to the possibility of not only loving but being loved–to find myself blessed with an extraordinary man whose intent gaze into my eyes touches my heart in places long ago left dry and barren has allowed me to once again believe.

it has not been a perfect life; yet it has been a remarkable 43 years. as i anticipate the start of a new life-year that begins tomorrow, i do so with more hope, more zeal, more love than ever before.

surely i am blessed among men!

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