a more gay kind of wedding

I love a good wedding.
Who doesn’t?

The excitement in the air.
The chance to dress up.
The opportunity to judge the bridesmaid dresses.

Through the years, I’ve attended several such occasions (including a few of my own)–from the simple courthouse kind like in Sex in the City except without the Manolo Blahniks…to the church ones with the reception in the fellowship hall with no booze and no dancing. From the all-out throwdowns where the party lasts far, far past my bedtime…to the ones with two grooms or two brides.

I don’t know of one wedding I’ve attended that wasn’t lovely in some way or another and where there wasn’t at least one moment where my heart wasn’t touched by love or sweetness.

But I have to tell you–

There is no ceremony more touching, more deeply meaningful, than a legal marriage that unites a same-gender-loving couple.

To be sure, they and their guests are generally more fabulous in nature. (You know it’s true.) But seeing a couple who at one time was legally prohibited from the same right as heterosexual Americans–well, the significance is simply flooring.

This weekend, my partner and I were among 100 or so folks who had the pleasure of attending the legal marriage of a binational couple.


Even though there was no bride (at least not one in a dress), there were the usual ahhs and sniffles one might expect at a heterosexual ceremony.

But the smiles seemed somehow happier.
The tears came from somewhere deeper.
And the collective joy felt much, much more palpable.

Hetero- and homosexual, those of us gathered together to witness this union were united in something much bigger, much more significant than any of us could have realized.

We witnessed the very essence of…equality–made possible by the labor of generations of activists fighting for this right–and it was simply beautiful.

And then we celebrated! And what a celebration: Toasts to the grooms were made. Glasses clinked. Booties shook on the dance floor.

Because these two men got to do what hundreds of millions of heterosexuals have gotten to do for decades.

Someday, hopefully soon, we won’t notice any difference in the celebration of two brides, two grooms, or one of each.

But for now, we sniffle a little bit more, cheer just a little louder, and celebrate a heckuva lot more.

Because the American dream of committing legally to the one you love–a legal right of citizenship–is now a reality for “the rest of us,” whether we’re both in gowns or tuxedos.

Cheers for many days of happiness to our friends and anyone who gets the chance to marry the one they love.


Click here to donate to the fight for marriage equality for all Americans: https://secure.freedomtomarry.org/page/contribute/win-states-fund

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