2. the sweetest man I have ever known

(#2 in a series of people who
changed the course of my life)

The sweetest thing I’ve ever known
Was like the kiss on the collarbone
Soft caress of happiness
The way you walk, your style of dress
I wish I didn’t get so weak
Ooo, baby, just to hear you speak
Makes me argue just to see
How much you’re in love with me
See, like a queen, a queen upon her throne.

It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know,
It was the sweet, sweet, sweetest thing I know.

Lauryn Hill

I have to be the most fortunate man in the world. Of all the men Miguel Atkins could choose to love, he chose me. And this was after a first date that included me telling him “I’m not looking for a long-term relationship” (seriously) and watching me dance in the audience during the Musiq Soulchild concert.

I never intended to move to Dallas–I was headed to LA in 2012–but the Universe sent him specifically to me (via some mutual Facebook stalking) to help me find my way. And because I stayed here, I was able to be present when one of my sons was diagnosed with–and then cured of–cancer. And I was able to be my mother’s caretaker when she broke her hip and later passed away–with the boys and Miguel right by my side.

And oh yeah–I reconciled this religion thing with God after six years of bitterness. I was able to do this because Miguel shared his faith and his church family with me. I’ll never forget that first Sunday at Cathedral of Hope. I cried the entire service–snot was everywhere. He just handed me tissues and put his arm around me and supported me. And he hasn’t left my side since.

IMG_0605And then he introduced me to all his friends–most of whom were suspect of this queen from the country and waited for me to prove I was worthy of him. Eventually, they decided I was “OK” and they welcomed me with open arms. 

What a ride we’ve had! So many fantastic experiences. So much joy and love and laughter. Never a moment of hatefulness or toxicity or selfishness. He is the REAL DEAL. And sexy as hell.

And now, three years to the day I moved here to live with him, it is time for me to move forward. 

Leaving Miguel is the hardest part of this transition. But he believes in me–and more importantly in us. He knows I must answer this call and he believes it is my purpose, despite the temporary separation. It was at his urging that I go on ahead and get established, find my footing, and make the very best start before he comes to join me next year. Excruciating. Not his favorite part of this plan. Nor mine. But it is what he believes is best for me. In true Miguel fashion: completely unselfish.

I will miss going to church with him. And holding hands. And all the many selfies of us he takes.

I will miss sharing chicken quesadillas with spinach and mushrooms every Wednesday night. Helping him tie his bow ties. His blackened fish and his turkey patties and the protein shakes he makes for me.

Most of all, I will miss falling asleep with him and waking up beside him every day. Those sleepy, twilight moments are some of my very favorite.


Sweet, sweet Miguel. His kindness knows no bounds. Nor does his patience (which has been put to the test dealing with me). Deeply loyal, with a joy that shines through his smile and that laugh, he loves with every fiber of his being.

I am so VERY fortunate to be his “T-Dot.” His lover. His fiancé! And some day, when the time is right, I will be his husband and he will be mine.

Thank you, sweet man, for the love you pour into US, that fills my heart to overflowing and instills in me a confidence that “just being me” is all I really need to be loved by you.

I love you.

Where it all began: our first selfie, March 2012

Where it all began: our first selfie, March 2012

Our first Dallas Pride together--one of the most awesome experiences we shared!

Our first Dallas Pride together–one of the most awesome experiences we shared!

US BIG D black tie T&M us2 11182232_10206693916613726_3682729076918668539_n 1016566_10204252442283743_5351370922076886159_n 10612736_10204070276249706_6638641099386662918_n ussssss 67828_10200429728838296_1617154893_n 23870_4450927183814_1559330669_n love is stronger MiggsNTdot NOH8 2014 MiggsNTdot noh8 IMG_0015 2nd class Todd Whitney & Miguel Atkins dallas voice cover

Bonus: Here’s the Miguel Tribute playlist I’ve curated over the past three years:

3. the liberator

2 thoughts on “2. the sweetest man I have ever known

  1. I am blessed to have seen your love in presence and in action. Both you guys are specially tailored by God, the master artist. May your love forever outshine any challenges that you all may face and may you always face them together. Marvin and I love you guys.

  2. Pingback: 1. you | uhm...

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